11 reasons to vote Democrat
Here’s College Professor Peggy West to explain:
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Tags: Arizona, Democrats will move forward, Entertainment, Funny, Global Warming, Halloween, Health, National Media, Obama
Dog Day Afternoon…
Ten pet peeves dogs have with humans.
1. Blaming your farts on me….. not funny…. not funny at all !!!
2. Yelling at me for barking. I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG!!!
3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not home!
6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo, what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7. Taking me to the vet for “the big snip,” then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9. Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven’t you noticed the fur?
10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You’re just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who’s boss here! You don’t see me picking up your poop do you?
EVERY DOG HAS HIS DAY. A DOG ALWAYS OFFERS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. CATS HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT!
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Five–uh, I mean–Four bags of Marijuana donated to Goodwill.
MARIETTA, Ohio (WSAZ) – ‘Tis the season for giving and, as donations pour into thrift stores, a local Goodwill received a $1,500 donation, according to information from out sister station WTAP.
The only problem is it’s illegal in stores and on the street.
Sorry, donation is not for sale. Police say the owner is welcome to claim it, though.
“If anybody would like to come in and claim this “cooler,” which is probably an antique, we would love to have them come in and we’ll be more than happy to try and get that cooler returned to them,” Marietta Police Capt. Jeff Waite said.
Police say the marijuana appears to be more than a year old and probably was donated by accident.
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Tags: Christmas, Funny, Goodwill, Holiday, Humor, Marijuana, Media, National
Actual classifieds?
1 man, 7 woman hot tub — $850/offer
Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
Snow blower for sale…only used on snowy days.
Free puppies…part German shepherd part dog
2 wire mesh butchering gloves, 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
Tickle Me Elmo, still in box, comes with it’s own 1988 Mustang, 5L, auto, excellent condition $6800
Cows, calves never bred… also 1 gay bull for sale.
83 Toyota hunchback — $2000
Star Wars Job of the Hut — $15
Free puppies: Cocker Spaniel – sneaky neighbor’s dog
Free Yorkshire Terrier. 8 years old. Unpleasant little dog.
German Shephard. 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
Full sized mattress. 20 yr warranty. Like new. Slight urine smell.
Free 1 can of pork & beans with purchase of 3 BR 2 BTH home.
For sale: Lee MAjors (6 Million Dollar Man) – $50
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‘Thatcher dead’ text sparks fears
....but a Thatcher very much like this one (BBC News)
Transport Minister John Baird sent a message reading: “Thatcher has died”.
Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper was soon informed that 84-year-old former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher had passed away.
But it was actually Mr Baird’s beloved cat, named after his political heroine, who had died.
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Tags: Funny, International News
Forbes Halloween masks for 2009
The Michael Moore mask even beat out the illegal alien costume according to Forbes.
Barrack was replaced by Michael Moore who, “In his new film, this liberal provocateur says capitalism is evil. What should we make of his lifetime box office gross of $185 million?”
Others on the list include Roman Polanski, David Letterman, Rod Blagojevich, Glenn Beck and Michael Jackson. Apparently, entertainment was scary this year.
Shouldn’t there be side views of some of these faces?
(Disclaimer: Old Stuff 4 Sale Shop does not carry any of these masks. Too scary.)
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Tags: Entertainment, Funny, Halloween
Cute
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed. “Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” the nun said while patting his hand. “We do have to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Can you pay in cash?”
“I’m afraid I can’t, Sister.”
“Do you have any close relatives, then?”
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” replied, “but she’s a spinster nun.”
“Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith,” the nun replied.
“They are married to God.”
“Okay,” the man said with a smile, “then bill my brother-in-law.”
Vote For This Joke
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Tags: Funny
National Fire Prevention Week
We were so busy with other things, this past week, that we forgot to mention that October 4-10 is National Fire Prevention Month.
